Top Ten Reasons Otherwise Rational People Are Watching ‘Bachelor Pad 2′
I’ll own it. I’m watching Bachelor Pad. On purpose. And according to twitter, I’m not alone. In fact, there is a veritable army of people who I consider to be brainy who are also tuning in every...
View ArticleBachelor Pad Finale Recap: Holly & Michael Win, Ben Flajnik Announced as Next...
Last night was the seasonal finale for Bachelor Pad, the reality show about a special home for the rejects of the Bachelor franchise. After weeks of relationship drama, crying girls, bathing suit...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Season 16 Episode 1 Recap: Screw You And The Horse You Rode In On
We’re BACK, betches! The old gang is all here, you, me, HARRISON, and…Ben. Oh, Ben. You were dumped on The Bachelorette and are probably the most beige guy who has ever beiged, and your hair…oh GOD the...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Season 16 Episode 2 Recap: Save Scotchy!!!!
Here we are again, my beloved little squirrels! So let us, like Benny does in the preview, hit it and quit it, shall we? Welcome to The Bachelor! Tonight we open in Sonoma CA, where Benny walks his...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Season 16 Episode 3 Recap: I Left My Stomach Contents In San...
TONIGHT on The Bachelor! We go to San Francisco, where we climb the Bay Bridge and get into bikinis to…ski? Sure, why not. Also kissing, dancing, fireworks, fighting, nausea, and a MYSTERY GUEST WHO...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Season 16 Episode 4 Recap: Park City U-Blaaaaaaaaaaah
Everyone ready? Beverages prepared? Silkwood showers imminent? LET’S DO THIS. TONIGHT on The Bachelor! Park City, Utah, is very pretty. Horsies! Holes in the ground! Spit swapping and bullshiz...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap: Season 16, Episode 5 – Puerto Rico, The Shining Skeeze
Okay, we’ve all seen the commercials and the naked and the rose in the water. Are we ready for this? I mean, does everyone have their beverages and their Xanax at the ready? Because I have a feeling...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 16, Episode 6: A Man, A Plan, A Catastrophe: Panama
TONIGHT on The Bachelor! We’re in Panama City, Panama, which is gorgeous. Everyone is in lurve with Benny. Dead Shark Eyes is fixin’ to have ALL the girls rat her out for the beesh she is. And Casey S...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 16 Episode 7: You Better Belize This Show Is In The...
Tonight on The Bachelor! We’re off to Belize, which really didn’t do anything to deserve this. Hopefully their tourist industry will survive. ANYWAY. Six remain. Lots of tongue action. Lots of bullcrap...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap: Season 16 Episode 8: Daddies, Don’t Let Your Daughters...
Oh christ on a bike, here we go. TONIGHT! On The Bachelor! It’s home visits! Kissy kissy huggy huggy horses, awkwardness, and DADDIES NOT PLAYING. That makes me happy, mostly because I think if my...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 16 Episode 9: The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of...
Well, we’ve all been waiting for this, have we not? It’s time for FANTASY SUITES, MOFOS!!!! Get your booze and your vomit-proof pets ready. Tonight! On The Bachelor! We go to Switzerland! Whores lie!...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Season 16 Episode 10 Recap: The Women Are All Skeezers – Also...
Here we are for the reunion show! I’ll be blunt. I can’t remember ANY of these skeezers’ names, so I’ll be relying on the chyron A LOT. Which means I’ll be pausing and rewinding a lot, which will piss...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap: Season 16 Finale
[Editor's Note - Miss Banshee is on medical leave from MamaPop. Today's recap of The Bachelor is by guest author and MamaPop alum Kristen Howerton of Rage Against The Minivan] I’ve long since abandoned...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 1: 50 Shades of Trying Too Hard
LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMBBBBLLLLE! Sean Lowe is back for what will obviously be the! most! exciting! season! of! The Bachelor. And while we get to sit back and watch gratuitous shots of Sean’s nipples...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 2: Tacky Hos Are A Dime a Dozen
It’s only week two of The Bachelor, and ladies are already “falling in love” with Sean Lowe, “here for the wrong reasons,” or “not here to make friends.” But one thing’s for damn sure: ALL of them are...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 3: Head Trauma A Go-Go
LET’S DO THIS THING. Sean Lowe, aka the Snooze, works out shirtless. Because of course he does. Thankfully, ENTER CHRIS HARRISON. Oh Harrison. You complete me. First date card. Leslie M gets the date....
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 4: The Crazy Get Crazier, And We Delight
WOO HOO BACHELOR RECAP TIMEZ!!!!!!!!!! HERE WE GO!!!! Tonight, on “Snore-zilla And His Hoes” Sean Lowe is a slave to crazy Tierra and it’s going to be AWESOME. Plus? ROLLER DERBY. Chris Harrison, the...
View Article‘The Bachelor’ Recap Season 17 Epidode 5: The Snooze & The Skeezes Go To...
Welcome to The Bachelor! If you haven't heard already, last night's episode was Part I of a two-night-long crapfest of Sean Lowe (The Snooze) looking the fool and the skeezes acting the fool in...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 6: The Snooze And The Skeezes Go To Canada
The Bachelor is back again this week whether we want it to or not. Last night, Sean Lowe (The Snooze) and the skanks toddled off to Canada, The Snooze ditched someone before the rose ceremony, and...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 7: Sister Knows Best
Welcome back to The Bachelor! Last week we all barely survived two back to back episodes, and Tierra "barely survived" a polar bear plunge, which wasn't a stunt at ALL Y'ALL, she was totally sincerely...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 8: Home Sweet Home
ANOTHER two night Bachelor "event" begins, because ABC wants me to go back to the lunatic asylum. YOU WANT TO PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS, ABC?!?!?Anyway, we're back with Sean "The Snooze" Lowe and his band...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 – Sean Lowe Tells All
Do we really have to do this? Apparently we do. Sean Lowe, our most beloved Snoozer, is ready to TELL ALL. Whatever, we're going to talk about Tierra and that really is the only thing that matters....
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 9: Who Needs A Fantasy Suite When You’re...
It's my favorite night, that being FANTASY SUITE night, which usually means sex galore, but with the Snooze they'll probably end up cuddling under a Slanket and reading the Bible. God, I hate this...
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 10: The Women Tell All
This is it. This is what we’ve been waiting for! It’s THE BACHELOR: The Women Tell All! Oh please, ladies. Tell us EVERYTHING. Especially Tierra. Sweet Jeebus, let them lead her out in a straitjacket....
View ArticleThe Bachelor Recap: Season 17, Episode 11 – Finale
Oh my beloved little squirrels. We've made it. Sean Lowe, the snooziest, most fake "reclaimed" virgin ever, if THAT isn't the most bullshit thing ever, is going to make his decision between Catherine...
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